Mercuriosities

This disturbing warning was picked up by the Mercury from another publication.  Whether the sinister gentleman campaigning about naked ladies actually existed, of course, is a another matter .  .  .

“The following curious communication from a correspondent under the signature “OBSERVATOR,” appears in the Courier of Wednesday:

‘An Important Caution. – Ladies who are accustomed to wear their dresses extremely low in the back and bosom, or off the shoulders, are particularly requested to beware a person, who has for some time frequented all places of public amusement, and many private parties.  He is an elderly gentleman, of venerable appearance, and correct manners; his constant practice when he observes a lady dressed in the manner above described is, with an almost imperceptible, and apparently accidental pressure of a little instrument which he carries in his hand, to imprint the following words upon her back or shoulders, ‘Naked, but not ashamed.’

The stain is like that produced by lunar caustic*; washing will not remove it, and it becomes more visible by exposure to the air, so that nothing but a covering can conceal it.  It is said that several ladies were marked last summer at various places of fashionable resort; and that they cannot, even now, strip for company, without displaying this indelible stamp of reproof.'”

Stamford Mercury 12th July, 1816.

*Lunar caustic is silver nitrate, which was used as a cauterizing agent.  It stains skin jet black on exposure to light.

Apart from their wonderfully evocative names, this piece celebrates the incredible longevity of the monks of Croyland Abbey.

“When the famous Turkerul, who had been Chancellor of England, and one of the greatest warriors and statesmen of the time, retired from the world and became abbot of Croyland, he found five very aged monks in the monastery, to whom he paid particular attention.  Father Clarenbald, the oldest of these monks, died A.D. 973, after he had completed the 168th year of his age.  The second who was named Swarling, died the same year, at the age of 142.  The third, who was called Father Turgar, died the year after, in the 115th year of his age.  The two other monks, Brnne and Ajo, died about the same time, whose ages are not exactly known. though they must have been very old, as they both remembered the old abbey of Croyland, which had been destroyed by the Danes in the year 870.  These facts are related with much confidence by Ingulphus, who was abbot of Croyland, and wrote from the historical register of the abbey.  When we recollect also the very recent instance of longevity in Elizabeth Shaw’s case, who died at Keal Cotes, aged 117, the Lincolnshire fens are not to be considered so unhealthy as they have been generally reputed.”

Stamford Mercury 30th June, 1809.

Lord Burghley had replaced three men, who had been paid to clean his water from weeds, with four swans who work free of charge.

“One of the communications of the Marquis of Exeter to the editor of a periodical publication, which we lately noticed, is a discovery that swans will keep water perfectly free from weeds. At his Lordship’s seat at Burghley, a piece of water, which used to employ three men for six months in a year to keep it tolerably clean, is now kept completely so by two pair of swans.”

Stamford Mercury, 11th November 1803.

A fortune could be made in a Lottery which was due to be drawn on St. Valentine’s Day, 1810.  A ‘Sixteenth’ was the smallest stake available and cost £1-13-0 (equal to £1.65 today).

“Recipe to make a Fortune.-Take a Sixteenth and buy it;-when it produces (and why should it not?) a Share of a Capital Prize, lay the amount out in Whole Tickets.  Having succeeded to your wish, in the event of these being fortunate, you have only to purchase a neat house in town for winter, and a snug summer retreat in the country; let these be embellished by the girl of your heart; let family be added, quantum suff* and if you do not think the Lottery has done you justice, try again.”

* as much as suffices.

Stamford Mercury, 26th January, 1810.

The Mercury committed a Grave error by misreading a note sent to it conveying the information of two deaths.

” We misread the note of a correspondent at Spilsby last week, and committed an error which carries with it an air of levity, for which we feel real concern.  Instead of Mr. Thomas Raiderstone, of Halton Holegate, being married to Miss Jessop, of Burgh in the Marsh, we should have stated that both those parties are dead.”

Stamford Mercury, 9th September, 1807.

A woman who regularly ate some horse radish baffled doctors who thought she had worms.  It was found to be horse radish sprouts.

” A NEW BED OF HORSE-RADISH.- The Boston Gazette of Tuesday has the following strange account:- ‘A young women, servant in a very respectable family in this town, has been, ever since the autumn of 1814, afflicted with a singular complaint, which baffled medical staff. According to report, she had for a length of time voided long strips of matter supposed to be worms, but which proved to be sprouts of horse-radish! Her health has late much improved, but her amendment is said to have been preceded by the extraordinary circumstance of two pieces of the ends of horse-radish, of the natural appearance, and about half an inch each in length, having come from her! The affair is accounted for by the young women’s confession that she has been in the practice, when she had horse-radish given her to scrape, of swallowing large pieces of it.’ ”

Stamford Mercury, 24th May, 1816.

A wealthy man, who owned a small estate, sent out a notice to any unmarried women containing the description of what would make this man’s perfect wife.

” Notice to UNMARRIED Women.

A man in Edinburghshire, who never was married, being near thirty years of age, has above 900l. with a small estate. In sincerity he wants a women to be his spouse that is truly pious, and has a taste for cleanliness. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a women that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.-Prov.xxxi.50.                                                                           Any young women whom this may suit, will please address to A.B. to be left at the Printing-office, and the Advertiser will wait on her.                                        O virtuous female, think no shame,                                                                  To take the pen and write your name;                                                              I shall the subject secret handle,                                                                      And keep you free from any scandal.”

Stamford Mercury, 13th January, 1809.

In our days of instant communication, it might appear odd that over a century ago, the Royal Mail was very much NOT ‘snail mail’!

“Commencing on Monday next, 6th inst., there will be on week-days four deliveries of letters and parcels throughout the town instead of three only as hitherto, these will be made at 7.0 and 10.0 a.m., and at 3.0 and 8.0 p.m. A great advantage will be gained inasmuch as the letters now delivered at 12 will be received two hours earlier, and four-fifths of those formerly delivered at 7.0 p.m. will, under the new arrangement, be dealt with at 3.0 p.m. and the delivery at 8.0 p.m. will include all letters posted in the afternoon in the Rural districts served by Stamford, such letters have in the past been delayed until the following morning.  It is estimated that not less than 6000 letters a week will be appreciably accelerated.  The collections also from the various town boxes will be made more frequently, and will fit in more closely with the different despatches from the Head Office.  The first collection will be made between 4.30 and 5.30 a.m., and correspondence will fall into the morning delivery in the Stamford Town and Rural districts an the first despatches to Peterborough and London.”

Stamford Mercury, 3rd April, 1908.

A severe ‘serjeant’ at Volunteer Corps shouted at a recruit after he grumbled during a drill and began to speak when he shouldn’t have.

” A serjeant drilling a Volunteer Corps a few days ago, was peculiarly severe on a gentleman, whom he did not fail to tax as amazingly stupid and aukward. The recruit grumbled, and was beginning to reply, when Kile stopped him by exclaiming, Hold your tongue, Sir; a soldier is only allowed to open his mouth twice in the ranks; once when his name is called, and again to bite off the end of his cartridge.”

Stamford Mercury, 16th September 1803

Man-mountain, Daniel Lambert had been been drafted to serve in the Leicestershire militia – how many men will he be worth?

” The celebrated Mr. Daniel Lambert has been balloted to serve in the militia for the county of Leicester! It is supposed this man-mountain will serve by substitute; but how many men in buckram should in fairness grow out of this one, who is in himself a host, is a matter that the Deputy-Lieutenants have not yet determined upon.”

Stamford Mercury, 6th November 1807.