Mercuriosities

Henry Clay was a U.S. attorney and politician who represented Kentucky in congress and served as secretary of state under President John Quincy Adams.  His opponents in the press used a ‘picture’ to draw attention to his failings.

The Americans are indeed a funny sort of people. The following is one of the many specimens of the numerous plans adopted by the newspapers opposed to the election of Henry Clay to the Presidential chair, and intended to ridicule him. There is a cut in the paper from which we copy it, representing Mr Clay’s coat of arms, with the words “shoot lower” across it, and “war, pestilence, and famine;” at one corner four or five playing cards, and at the opposite end a pistol cocked. At the head he is represented firing at his opponent, and a bottle in the centre of the assailant marked “brandy”.                       

(From The Lorain Republican.)

THE “EMBODYMENT.”

“Henry Clay, the living personification and embodiment of Whig principles.”  Whig address.  IN 1777 born:  In 1805, quarrelled With Col. Davis of Kentucky, which led to his first duel:  In 1808, he challenged Humphrey Marshall and fired three times at his heart:  In 1825, he CHALLENGED the great John Randolph, and fired once at his heart, but without effect:  In 1838, he planned the CHILLEY DUEL, by which A MURDER was perpetrated, AND a Wife made a MANIAC.  In the year 1811, when 65 years old, and grey Headed, is under 5000 dollars BONDS to KEEP THE P EACE!!  At the age of 29 he PERJURED HIMSELF to secure a Seat in the United States senate; and again, in 1824, he made an INFAMOUS BARGAIN with John Quincy Adams, by which HE SOLD OUT For a £1200 a year Office.  He is also generally well known as a GAMBLER AND  SABBATH BREAKER.  His POLITICS are precisely and exactly those of the Hartford convention federalist: OPPOSED to EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL LAWS; and in favour of MONOPOLISING LAWS and chartered privileges.  Also he sustains the ferocious Algerines in their deeds of  BLOOD AND MURDER.

Stamford Mercury, 8th November, 1844.

Planning permission was no problem in 1826 Bicester. Just gather together some men liberally plied with Sir John Barleycorn by the ‘respectable’ inhabitants of Bicester and, voilà, Bicester town centre transformed in two days.

“On Saturday last, a perambulation of the parish of Bicester, Oxfordshire, took place ; after which a great number of the most respectable inhabitants dined together at the King’s Head Inn, and the poorer inhabitants were admitted into the yard and liberally treated with beer. Enlivened by the juice of Sir John Barleycorn, and instigated, it is supposed, by some of their richer neighbours, the latter proceeded in an immense body into the Market-place, where stood a long range of buildings which had been long a disgrace to the town, comprising the town-hall, shambles, cage, and two dwellings, the occupier of one of which had withstood every inducement which had been long held out to him to remove. Several hundred persons being assembled, the shambles and the residence of that individual were soon pulled down. A person who was present states, that he counted on the roof of the shambles alone, at one time, 37 men. On Monday morning the people again met, and completed the work of demolition ; on which occasion a man named Alexander Hunt fell through the joists and broke his leg. It is reported that the gentlemen of the town will make good every loss sustained by the individuals, and that they have it in contemplation to erect a handsome market-house on the site of the demolished buildings.”

Stamford Mercury, 2nd June 1826.

“On measuring a corpse for her coffin, an undertaker got a fright when the corpse spoke to him. It was a case of mistaken identity rather than a Lazarus resurrection.

“In the early part of last week, a curious circumstance occurred at a public house in Salford. A female servant of the house had died, and an undertaker was sent for to measure her for a coffin. He was directed up stairs to the room where the corpse lay, and, accompanied by an assistant, he proceeded there, and was taking out his rule for the purpose of measuring her length, when to their astonishment the supposed corpse rose up in bed, and demanded their business. The coffin-maker and his man scampered down stairs, and told the company that the girl was come to life again. They were of course laughed at, and on an explanation ensuing, it appeared that they had mistaken their way, and had gone into the bed-room of the landlady, where she lay fast asleep, until disturbed by their intrusion.–Manchester Paper.”

Stamford Mercury, 2nd June, 1826.

In the 19th century, when we all lived more leisurely lives, fatal accidents caused by driving while intoxicated still occurred. Drunk in charge of a blind horse and a light cart was the cause of death of a farmer from Bourne Fen. Nowadays, it continues to be an offence under the 1872 Licensing Act to drink and ride a horse or cattle.

“A fatal accident occurred to Mr. Mason, farmer, of Bourn Fen, on Thursday night the 27th ult.  The deceased had been to Spalding, and was returning home, somewhat inebriated, with a light cart and a blind horse, when, after having proceeded 300 yards from the Hurn bar near Guthram, the whole were precipitated in one of the drains by the road side.  He was discovered the following morning quite dead, as well as the horse, although there was not more than two feet of water in the drain.  Verdict of the inquest, accidental death.”

Stamford Mercury, 4th April, 1834

Mermaids appear in the folklore of many cultures worldwide. This mermaid wasn’t left in peace for very long before someone took a potshot at her.

“MERMAID.–We extract the following article from a respectable Irish newspaper, The Galway Advertiser.

‘Naturalists have hitherto doubted of the existence of Mermaids and Mermen : we have it now in our power to set at rest the doubts of sceptics upon this duplex order of animals, one having been lately discovered basking upon the rock of Derrygimla, in Errisbeg (Cunnemara), after the ebbing of the tide.  It was discovered by a female of the lower order, who was then about four months pregnant ; she was suddenly startled by a kind of scream, which was followed by the plunging of an animal half female and half fish, her lower extremities having the conformation of a dolphin,  This woman was so terrified as to miscarry, and has never been able to leave her bed since.  The tide being out, the animal had some difficulty in reaching the water.  Thos. Evans, Esq. of Cleggan, a gentleman well known to many of our readers, just arrived upon the coast in time to witness her last plunges.  Having gained the water, she disappeared for a few moments, but again appeared, perfectly composed.  Mr. Evans now had a favourable opportunity of examining this so long doubted genus ; it was about the size of a well-grown child of ten years of age ; a bosom prominent as a girl of 16 ; a profusion of long dark brown hair ; full dark eyes ; hands and arms formed like the human species, with a slight web connecting the upper part of the fingers, which were frequently employed throwing back her hair ; her movements in the water seemed principally directed by the finny extremity ; for near an hour she remained in apparent tranquillity, in view of upwards of 300 persons, until a musket was levelled at her, which having flashed in the pan, she immediately dived, and was not afterwards seen.  Mr. Evans declares she did not appear to him to possess the power of speech, for her looks appeared vacant, and there was an evident want of intelligence.  As this is the season of the fishery, we are in hopes some of our fishermen may draw her in their nets, as it is extremely probable, at the time she was first discovered, she was in search of some place to deposit her young.  We understand several depositions upon oath as to this animal’s appearance are to be made.  We are promised a more minute description, which we shall be happy to lay before our readers.'”

Stamford Mercury, 1st October, 1819.

Napoleon’s carriage became a highly prized possession after his defeat at the Battle of Waterloo. After accompanying him on many military campaigns, it was seized as one of the spoils of war and later exhibited in London. Other memorabilia from the Battle were also in great demand.

“On Friday, Buonaparté’s carriage taken at Waterloo, recently brought to this country, was exhibited to the Regent at Carlton-house, in its complete state, accompanied by the officers who took it, and a number of English and foreigners of distinction.  The driver, in his full dress, sitting on the near pole horse, drives the four horses with a whip, the thong of which is about three yards long ; but he manages the horses principally by talking to them.  The two leading horses are at such a distance from the other two, that there is nearly room for two more.  The horses are good stout dark bays, of English cut and appearance, very like a mail-coach set of the best description.”

Stamford Mercury, 10th November 1815

Translation is a tricky business, with false friends and idiomatic phrases just waiting to catch us out. We all know the Inuit have more words for snow than we have, rather more even than national rail services, but who would have interpreted ‘Felicissima notte‘ to mean anything other than ‘Good night’, without knowing local customs?

“THE ITALIAN GOOD NIGHT.– In Northern Europe, we may, without impropriety, say, ‘good night’ to departing friends at any hour of darkness ; but the Italians utter their ‘Felicissima Notte‘ only once.  The arrival of candles marks the division between day and night, and when they are brought in, the Italians thus salute each other.  How impossible it is to convey the exact properties of a foreign language by translation !  Every word, from the highest to the lowest, has a peculiar significance, determinable only by an accurate knowledge of national and local attributes and peculiarities.–Goethe.”

Stamford Mercury, 14th August, 1829

Although taking multiple husbands is quite rare, a case of polyandry was heard at the Old Bailey in 1829. The Court found the woman’s manner to be ‘most audacious’ before sentencing her to transportation.

“At Bow-street last week, Hannah Andrews, alias Goodman, alias Eagles, alias Reynolds, a good-looking, stout Welsh woman, about 28 years of age, was charged with poligamy, having, it is said, no fewer than six husbands !  Two of the men attended to prove the case against the lady.  The first was Henry Goodman, a tall, handsome man, about 30 years of age, who has respectable connections at Worcester and Birmingham.  He was attending Wolverhampton market in May last, when the lady introduced herself to him, and by dint of insinuating manners soon wooed herself into his good graces : they touched upon marriage, and having apprised him that she had property at Cheltenham worth 1400l., besides a tolerable sum in ready cash, she said she was a widow, and of all men she had seen he was most to her fancy.  Mr Goodman soon became equally pleased with her, and her attractions had so blinded him, that she actually took him to the Wolverhampton bank, and contrived by a bold manoeuvre to persuade him that she had 395l. lodged there !–Within a month they were married, and soon after the happy pair proceeded to Worcester, to visit Mr. G.’s brother, a professional man ; whence they were to proceed to Cheltenham, to view the property there, but at Worcester the fair dame feigned illness, and to Cheltenham Mr. G. proceeded alone, and soon found (to use his own words) that all her estate was in the ‘Isle of Sky !’  It was true that she had hired some premises, which she had never occupied, and during her visit to Cheltenham, she had contrived, by some well-managed tears, to dupe a lawyer of 20l.  Upon his return to Worcester, the husband found that his frail rib had left that place within an hour after his departure for Cheltenham, and had proceeded to Birmingham, where she had obtained property of tradesmen, in his name, to a considerable extent, had carried off from his house all the portable property he possessed, and had then decamped.  He had afterwards the satisfaction of finding that she had three other husbands.–A similar ‘tale of woe’ was told by a Mr. Eagles, another husband, whom she plundered to a much greater extent.  The woman conducted herself in the most audacious manner during the examination, laughing loudly, and ogling first one man and then another.– She was convicted on two indictments at the Old Bailey sessions, and sentenced to seven years’ transportation for each offence.”

Stamford Mercury, 30th January, 1829.