A Mr. R. W. L. wrote to the Editor from Peterborough enclosing this poem, about simplicity which he believed was “not inapplicable to the times”.
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PRIMITIVE SIMPLICITY
'An old Maiden Aunt, whose locks, white as snow, Proclaim'd she was young some half cent'ry ago, With significant nods and remarks very shrewd, Thus accosted her niece, a gay, volatile nude: "How degenerate the times - I remember the days "When ladies wore handkerchiefs, aprons, and stays, "And nobody dreamt of your muslins and lace; "The virtue received an indelible speck "If a female display'd but the top of her neck; "But, now, you all show what was meant to be hid - "Pray why can't you dress as your grandmothers did?" "Dear Aunt, so I do; why don't you perceive "We follow the fashion of grandmother Eve? "If your argument's good, we can never be blam'd, "Like her we go naked - (Aunt) . . . . . . . . . . . ."And are not asham'd!"'
‘The law is an ass.‘ Well, if these strange examples are to be believed, then Mr Bumble was correct! Let us hope that such inconsistencies have since been rectified.
“INCONSISTENCY OF THE LAW – If a man has a leg broken by a carriage, the law allows a deodand to his wife and children; but if he be killed, they have no compensation. – If a man grows cabbages or potatoes, the horses employed in cultivation his fields are taxed; but if he grows wheat or barley, his horses are not liable to the highest taxation: because, says the law, cultivating a field for the growth of cabbages or potatoes is not agriculture. – If a journeyman butcher happen to be employed on any occasion in serving in his master’s shop, the master is liable to pay tax for a shopman; but if a journeyman baker be so employed, his master is not so liable, because, says the law, the baker is a manufacturer, and the butcher is not.
At Union-hall, on Friday, one of the toll-collectors in the Kent-road was summoned for demanding toll for a post chaise, which was used in the conveyance of convicts to Woolwich. The toll-collector said he was aware that waggons and carts used for the conveyance of prisoners were exempt from toll, but he considered that a post-chaise was liable. The magistrate said, that all descriptions of vehicles used for the purpose above-mentioned were exempt from the payment of turnpike tolls. The defendant, therefore, refunded the toll and was fined in the mitigated penalty of 5s.”
Henry Clay was a U.S. attorney and politician who represented Kentucky in congress and served as secretary of state under President John Quincy Adams. His opponents in the press used a ‘picture’ to draw attention to his failings.
The Americans are indeed a funny sort of people. The following is one of the many specimens of the numerous plans adopted by the newspapers opposed to the election of Henry Clay to the Presidential chair, and intended to ridicule him. There is a cut in the paper from which we copy it, representing Mr Clay’s coat of arms, with the words “shoot lower” across it, and “war, pestilence, and famine;” at one corner four or five playing cards, and at the opposite end a pistol cocked. At the head he is represented firing at his opponent, and a bottle in the centre of the assailant marked “brandy”.
(From The Lorain Republican.)
THE “EMBODYMENT.”
“Henry Clay, the living personification and embodiment of Whig principles.” Whig address. IN 1777 born: In 1805, quarrelled With Col. Davis of Kentucky, which led to his first duel: In 1808, he challenged Humphrey Marshall and fired three times at his heart: In 1825, he CHALLENGED the great John Randolph, and fired once at his heart, but without effect: In 1838, he planned the CHILLEY DUEL, by which A MURDER was perpetrated, AND a Wife made a MANIAC. In the year 1811, when 65 years old, and grey Headed, is under 5000 dollars BONDS to KEEP THE P EACE!! At the age of 29 he PERJURED HIMSELF to secure a Seat in the United States senate; and again, in 1824, he made an INFAMOUS BARGAIN with John Quincy Adams, by which HE SOLD OUT For a £1200 a year Office. He is also generally well known as a GAMBLER AND SABBATH BREAKER. His POLITICS are precisely and exactly those of the Hartford convention federalist: OPPOSED to EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL LAWS; and in favour of MONOPOLISING LAWS and chartered privileges. Also he sustains the ferocious Algerines in their deeds of BLOOD AND MURDER.
An unfortunate tumble from her horse caused consternation among the crowds witnessing Lady Godiva‘s ‘naked’ procession through Coventry.
LADY GODIVA’S PROCESSION. – Coventry fair was opened on Friday with the singluar procession of Lady Godiva on horseback, which forms the most curious, splendid, and indecent pageant ever witnessed in this kingdom. The advanced ranks, composed as usual of the city guards, accoutred in their ancient black armour, with the band of the Lancers immediately preceded the pages of Lady Govida, personated by one of the pale beauties of the town, in a flesh coloured silk dress fitting tight to her skin; then came the different trades of the city, decorated in the most splendid manner, each precede by their respective bands of music, and accompanied by their children fancifully arrayed. This procession passed as usual through most of the streets of Coventry, which, unlike the original procession, were crowded to excess, and Peeping Toms were here in thousands. In Baily-lane her naked Ladyship was seized with an unaccountable dizziness, and fell from her horse, when the peole crowded round her so as to render it necessary to clear the street. This was nearly at the end of the procession, which was completed without the presence of the lady.
We note that Jo Vigor-Mungovin, Joseph Merrick’s biographer, has discovered his grave in the City of London Cemetery. Merrick was known as ‘The Elephant Man’ due to his deformities. He died in 1890. A poignant film, starring John Hurt in the title role, was made in 1980. As you might expect The Stamford Mercury published several pieces about him.
The Elephant Man. – Mr. F. C. Carr Gomm, chairman of the London Hospital, in a letter to the Times, brings to public notice a most exceptional case. He says:-“There is now in a little room off one of our attic wards a man named Joseph Merrick, aged about 27, a native of Leicester, so dreadful a sight that he is unable even to come out by daylight to the garden. He has been called “the elephant man” on account of his terrible deformity. I will not shock your readers with any detailed description of his infirmities, but only one arm is available for work.” An appeal is then made for funds to enable the victim of this terrible affliction to spend the few remaining years of his life in seclusion and comfort.
Stamford Mercury, 10th December, 1886
DEATH OF THE “ELEPHANT MAN.” – Joseph Merrick, the unfortunate man who, owing to his strange deformities, was known as the “Elephant Man,” has died at the London Hospital, in which institution he had resided as a patient for about five years. A post-mortem examination has been held. – An inquest was held on Tuesday. Charles Merrick, hairdresser, Church-gate, Leicester, identified the body as that of his nephew, and gave his age as 29. His parents were in no way afflicted, and the father, an engine-driver, is alive. Mr. E. O. Ashe, house surgeon at the London Hospital, said deceased had lived at the institution four or five years. It had been expected he would die suddenly.
The man had great overgrowth of the skin and bone, but did not complain of anything. The exact cause of death was asphyxia, the back of his head being so greatly deformed that while the patient was taking a natural sleep the weight of his head overcame him and so suffocated him. The Coroner said there could be no doubt that death was quite in accordance with the theory put forward by the doctor. The jury accepted this view and returned a verdict to the effect that death was due to suffocation from the weight of the head pressing on the windpipe.
Some more from the occasional series of beauty tips, all of which are quite innocuous compared with the previous tips. Tincture of myrrh is still in use today.
“TINCTURE OF MYRRH makes a delightful mouth wash, and has a beneficial effect in tightening up the gums if the teeth become loose through age or ill-health.
UPPER ARMS which are disfigured with unsightly ‘gooseflesh’ may be restored to beauty by bandaging with pads soaked in warm almond oil after scrubbing with hot water and a loofah. Repeat nightly until an improvement is effected.
VINEGAR is often useful to remove stains from the nails. A tablespoon added to the last rinsing water after a shampoo makes the hair soft and glossy.
WHITE OF EGG is a useful expedient for removing ‘that tired look’, for it tightens up wrinkles and ‘crow’s feet’. Paint it lightly over the face with a pad of cotton wool, and allow it to dry. After about 15 minutes remove it with luke-warm water and rinse with cold water.
YELLOW patches often appear around the mouth if the liver is out of order. The juice of a lemon in a glass of hot water every morning instead of that early morning cup of tea will soon restore the complexion to its natural pink and white beauty.”
Alexander Cumming patented his design for a water-closet in 1775. However, it was found that the water could freeze in cold weather. Joseph Bramah, an installer of these flush toilets, improved the design. It wasn’t until the mid-19th century that they became widely used. Here is an early advertisement.
“PRICE FIVE GUINEAS.
New Invented Water-Closet.
THO. SCOTT, Plumber, ENGINE and WATER-CLOSET maker, MARKET-HARBORO’, Leicestershire,
Begs leave to inform the Nobility, Gentry, and the Public in general, that he makes and sells WATER-CLOSETS, upon a very simple Construction, which act without Valve, Plug, Slide, or Cock, and hold a certain Quantity of Water in the Basons; warranted to keep sweet and clean; not liable to be frozen, or out of order from Paper, which is so common in Water-closets.
N.B. Very good Allowance to Plumbers, Surveyors, Builders, &c. – All Letters duly answered.”
An occasional item on beauty treatments; some sound rather hazardous, so don’t try them at home!
“OLIVE-OIL, warmed is splendid for massaging thin arms and developing the bust, while a little well rubbed into the roots of the hair before washing will be found very beneficial for dry hair.
PEROXIDE-OF-HYDROGEN is an inexpensive beauty aid with many uses. It can be used to bleach downy hair on the upper lip and to sponge the under-arms after using a toilet razor. Diluted with a little water and dabbed on unsightly pimples or ‘cold sores’ – it dispels them speedily. Sprinkle a few drops on your nail brush, and it bleaches your nail tips to immaculate whiteness.
QUINCE SEEDS, soaked overnight in water, make an effective curling lotion which helps the hair to retain its curl and wave in damp weather.
ROSEMARY and cantharides*, which can be obtained at anuy chemists, is another excellent tonic for the hair.
STARCH is a little-known beauty bleach. If your skin is discoloured from freckles and neglected tan, try a starch mask. Mix a tablespoon of ordinaty white starch to a smooth paste with cold water. Smooth this gently on the face and neck (hands, too, if you like) and allow it to dry. It is best to do this when you can spare about twenty minutes to lie down and relax. When the paste dries, allow it to remain on fort about ten minutes longer, then wash it off gently with lukewarm water, dry gently and massage th[e] face with cold cream. Finish off with liberal applications of ice-cold water as an astringent. This is a good treatment for greasy skins.”
Stamford Mercury, 26th February, 1932.
*Cantharides is a substance secreted by blister beetles. Improperly dosed it can cause severe burns. Also called ‘Spanish Fly’, it was used as an aphrodisiac.
Seaton Station served the villages of Harringworth andSeaton from 1851-1966.
“Seven Words in Six Letters.
One station on the London, Midland and Scottish Railway, the name of which is made up of only six letters, nevertheless comprises seven words without making any alteration in the order of the letters. This is the Rutland junction of Seaton and the words are
Sea. Seat. Eat. At.
To. Ton. On.
This will, doubtless, be hard to beat and the attempt should form an interesting pastime for our Guild Members.”
From 1777-1852 a tax was levied on households employing ‘non-essential’ male servants. This was aimed at the wealthy who used personal staff, which were seen as luxuries. Farm and industrial workers were exempt.
“The following is a return of a Lady in Bath, recently made to the assessors of male servants, horses, carriages, dogs, &c.
