This ‘garrulous old man’ Mr. Serle, a member of the Peruke Makers‘ Society, was determined to have his day in court when he accused the Stewards of the Society of deserting him and owing him sickness allowance.
“Amusing Varieties of London ‘Justice Business’
Serle V. the Society of Wigmakers.
The Stewards of ‘The Peruke Makers’ Society’ – holden, almost time out of mind, at the Salutation Tavern, in that great wig mart, Tavistock-street, appeared before the Magistrate at Bow-street on Saturday, to answer the complaint of a garrulous old man in a tattered black coat docked to a coatee – one Mr. William Serle, formerly an eminent hairdresser in Bishopsgate-street, member of the Barbers’ Company, &c. &co.
This Mr. Serle, with surprising volubility and most redundant action, alleged, first – that he was once the most toppingest man in the trade; secondly, that one of his sons is a surgeon, and keeps his own charrot; that another of his sons is also a surgeon, and another the first cabinet maker going; thirdly, that he himself spent all his profits, as fast as they came, in bringing his sons to this pass; fourthly, that the success of his sons redered his wife and duaghters so hightoploftical that they turned their backs upon him, the poor old barber, and set up for tip-topping ladies; fifthly, that he, with his own hands, shaved Sir Astley Cooper every monring for thirty years, without missing a single morning, or ever keeping him waiting a single momoent; sixthly that he was one of the oldest members of ‘the Peruque Makers’ Society,’ and had been a constant conttributor to their funds for upwards of forty years; but now that he was old, and worn down to ‘a poor old barber,’ they also wanted to shuffle him off, as his wife and daughter had done; seventhly, that notwithstanding he was so old and worn out, he could still beat any young one among them, for the art of fine hair-dressing was lost, and no artist of the present day know how to handle a ladly’s head, or twirl a gentleman’s toupee; eighthly, and lastly, that being sick, he was entitled to fourteen shillings a week from the Peruke Makers’ Society, and the rascals with a view to make him die off by starvation, wickedly withheld it from him, &co.
The Stewards of the Peruke Maker’s (sic) Society, in reply to all this affirmed that the angry Mr. Serle’s family were most respectable, and allowed him half-a-guinea a week –
‘What’s that to you? What’s that to you?’ cried Mr. Serle, clenching his fist and drawing it behind him, as if about to strike; and a every ‘What’s that to you’ clenching it still harder, till at last he almost screwed himself off the floor with sheer energy as it were.
‘- and would provide for him handsomely,’ continued the Stewards, ‘if he would but conduct himself decently.’ They denied that his family had deserted him, and declared that he had deserted his family, because Mrs. Serle had ‘out-lived his liking,’ and he thought a younger lady more comfortable.
‘What d’ye mean by that, you rascals?’ cried Mr. Serle, again screwing himself up with intense vigour – ‘what d’ye mean by that? – Punish these infamous rascals! Punish them well, your Worship.’
His Worship requested Mr. Serle to be calm; and the Stewards proceeded.
He was, in fact, they said, a very bad old gentleman, and more trouble to every body than any body could imagine; and, finally, they declared that he was not entitled to the sick allowance from his society, because he was not sick –
‘Not sick/ you rascals!’ cried Mr. Serle; ‘not sick! Your Worship, ask ’em if I didn’t slip down and cut my nose? Ask ’em if I didn’t tumble over a stile and sprain my ancle? Ask ’em if I wasn’t put into a foul bed and got the itch? Why, your Worship, Sir Astley Cooper himself can vouch for it! for he gave me a paid of his old shoes for my sprained ancle, and a ticket to the warm bath at Guy’s for the itch. I have got Sir Astley’s old shoes upon my feet now to testify it, your Worship!’
The Stewards, in reply, said the broken nose was a mere nothing; the sprained ancle was all fudge; and as to the itch, it was not a proper condition for the benefits of the box of so orespectable a society as their’s.
‘Surely you will admit the itch to be a sickness, or indisposition sufficient to disqualaify him from following his business?’ asked the Magistrate.
‘Certainly not!’ was the ready reply of the Stewards; whereupon the worthy Magistrate observed that he should be very careful not to be shaved by any member of their society.
Some further debate ensured, but the Stewards remained inexorable. The utmost they would concede was a promise to lay the whole affair before a general assembly of the peruquiers for their decision; and the complaint was ordered by the Magistrate to stand over till the day after – when, if Mr. Serle was not satisfied, he might appear again.”
The Stamford Mercury, 3rd January, 1823.